There was nothing chasing the runners except bliss, still, they ran as fast as they could at Circle Brewing Company’s 0.5K micro marathon. The key is to just shuffle your legs, really. Speed walk at the pace one would take on the way to the bathroom in the middle of Avengers: Age of Ultron. And just like the servers at Alamo Drafthouse, the only real goal is to (quickly) walk the line between speed and spillage.
At Circle’s micro marathon, drinkers put human evolution to the test in three heats comprised of thirsty humans and one three-legged white dog, an embodiment of innocence and perseverance. Everyone with thumbs held two squeezable Silipints, unbreakable, immortal pint glasses filled with whichever Circle brew runners wanted to save from hitting the parking lot and guzzle at the end of the race. Simplicity is the soul of happiness, and the only thing runners had to do was wear and bib, drink until their heat, then keep their brews above a spill line marked on the cup.
The micro marathon is something remarkable. It’s not a seasonal release party or anniversary celebration, it’s a beer-fueled competition that encourages conversation as well as the purest form of a good time: drinking with strangers and doing your best to leave them in the dust. When holding two pints full of beer and doing some absurd form of speed-strutting, the least of us can become the greatest. There was no lull, either, only laughter and exaggerated stretching as the summery smell of sunscreen mixed with sweat. But the 0.5K was nothing to sweat over, and it’s something to certainly look forward to next year.