Author Archives: Tyler Malone

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bluebonnet beer company: boozy fun found down I-35

By Tyler Malone

Texas if full of thirsty people, so locally crafted beer (not just something shipped in from some exotic place like Houston) is on the move down I-35, north to the city of America’s weirdest bats and best beers. This past Tuesday was the ribbon cutting at Bluebonnet Beer Company, a brewery run by David Hulama, a man who’s damn proud to be filling glasses with his own beer and doing his own damn thing.

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It’s rare to hear people say that they don’t like beer, or that they don’t drink the goodness on a daily basis, or who use the phrase microbrew, but that’s Round Rock, a city wide-eyed for the future and what businesses such as Bluebonnet Beer Company will bring. More than a few city employees and Round Rock locals were more than elated to dive into more than a few pours of one-man-made craft beer. Their genuine reactions were something savory. Women who only drink Muscat wine and men who haven’t graduated from blue and silver Keystone cans since high school walked through the brewery’s bay door and into a mystical place like Narnia, a wondrous world where what’s ordinary is new and strange and a challenge. “Oh, this is how beer can taste!” Saliently, in the new brewery in the wild woods past Austin, I hung out with people who were having fun. They were celebrating at a boozy feast, something sort of a fully clothed mythical orgy of good times.

Bluebonnet Beer Company is something of a rarity in the Austin area, where breweries vie for pilsner supremacy and IPA dominance, with subtle distinctions between taste but deep arbitrarily fraternal lines alliances drawn. Bluebonnet is one man with a few tanks and a drive to make beer to share with thirsty humans, it’s pretty as idealistic as brewing can get. The platitude “I make beer I want to drink” was never spoken by Mr. Hulama, because the act of crafting beer is enough, not marketing, not causing a fuss by comparing styles or demarcations, just creation. The best thing anyone can do is head over to Bluebonnet’s tasting room and drink, talk, share the wealth of knowledge that beer lovers keep on their tongues.

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When Bluebonnet beer pictures sprinkled Instagram feeds, a few people asked about where this place was, but more asked how the beers were. It’s strange, wanting someone to motivate you with their opinions instead of immediately wanting to experience it for themselves. Experiment, nuance, intrinsic happiness, all that’s too much of that is missing when it comes to Austin beer. The hype and criticism hinders putting lips onto a glass and having a drink. Beer is that simple, but the culture isn’t. We are alive here on Earth, drink! It’s that simple.

Can I like this beer? I don’t know, can you? For the love of beer, expand your world as the universe expands. For the love of beer, drink new beer. Bluebonnet Beer Company will fill you with beer 5 to 8, Friday through Saturday.

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Brewer/proprietor, David Hulama

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not LSD (long, slow distances) but BEER (boozy, enjoyable, easy running)

There was nothing chasing the runners except bliss, still, they ran as fast as they could at Circle Brewing Company’s 0.5K micro marathon. The key is to just shuffle your legs, really. Speed walk at the pace one would take on the way to the bathroom in the middle of Avengers: Age of Ultron. And just like the servers at Alamo Drafthouse, the only real goal is to (quickly) walk the line between speed and spillage.

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At Circle’s micro marathon, drinkers put human evolution to the test in three heats comprised of thirsty humans and one three-legged white dog, an embodiment of innocence and perseverance. Everyone with thumbs held two squeezable Silipints, unbreakable, immortal pint glasses filled with whichever Circle brew runners wanted to save from hitting the parking lot and guzzle at the end of the race. Simplicity is the soul of happiness, and the only thing runners had to do was wear and bib, drink until their heat, then keep their brews above a spill line marked on the cup.

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The micro marathon is something remarkable. It’s not a seasonal release party or anniversary celebration, it’s a beer-fueled competition that encourages conversation as well as the purest form of a good time: drinking with strangers and doing your best to leave them in the dust. When holding two pints full of beer and doing some absurd form of speed-strutting, the least of us can become the greatest. There was no lull, either, only laughter and exaggerated stretching as the summery smell of sunscreen mixed with sweat. But the 0.5K was nothing to sweat over, and it’s something to certainly look forward to next year.

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untapped austin—music and beer: mankind’s best inventions

By Tyler Malone

Dancing under cracking thunder, eardrums in the crowd pulse, this is bliss. Total happiness is being enfolded by beer and comforted by music, two of mankind’s best inventions. Enjoyment on such a heavenly scale is sadly rare, but the ever-expanding Untapped music and beer festival hopes to remedy that. Even in a place known as the live music capital of the world, there’s room for more music, more taps, and more happiness.

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rant of the day – nipped in the bud

By Tyler Malone

The Corporation

At AB-InBev, we know you and your simple tastes. After all, we’ve created them—the only thing we’ve crafted in decades. Hell, generations. But still, don’t go. That’s all we’re asking. Please. We make you feel manly because real men don’t drink highfalutin fruit beers. Real men don’t even need a glass. Look, we know you’ve been drinking us since high school, and we even know that this—you and me, us—that’s a high school relationship, one built on convenience and a lack of options. Still, don’t go. We were all you wanted the whole you grew up, and now that you have, we’re all you want. That doesn’t need to change, we don’t need to change. Remember when there was nothing past us? We were adulthood. We gave you football games, fast races, commercials so close to soft-core porno that you thought your boyish fantasies were bleeding into reality. Now, though, we’re going to ask you one thing. Just this one thing. Are you listening? Good. Shut up. No, listen! Just shut up. Really. Drink our beer and like it, okay? Good. Now here’s your life: hard, manly work and chilled beer. All of that lived on repeat. We will continue to sell you the smallest experience possible and market it as a triumph, a truly manly achievement. Drink Responsibly.

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Budweiser stuck in a human face—forever.

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nye at the abgb

By Tyler Malone

A New Year’s Eve party should come in swinging, violent and tremendous. And why not? Drinkers rarely need any reason to celebrate, but no one should celebrate the passing of a year by drinking alone. Celebration should be done loudly with a mass of messy people all around. The party should bleed from one day into a whole other year, doubly so for parties that encourage a person to kiss the closest person to them at midnight. In all that bliss, beer should flow, which it certainly does at Austin Beer Garden Brewery, The ABGB.

To dance twenty-fourteen to death, a two swinging hundred person intimate party was thrown at The ABGB, with music provided by pianist Glover Gill and vocalist Thomas Escalante, who pre-gamed 8 ½ Souvenirs, accordion and standing bass and all. Past the live music presence, an interesting thing about The ABGB is how controlled their tap wall and menu both are, so most any party, big or small, can flow as fluidly as the garden’s damn delightful pilsner.

The ABGB is a place for everyone, even wine drinkers, for this year and hopefully years to come.

 

Photo by The Second Shooter

austin beerworks’ sputnik: to the stars!

By Tyler Malone

After NASA launched Orion away from the anchor of Earth’s gravity, it’s obvious that the spirit of the space race is alive. For most of us who aren’t astronauts, though, we’ll have to settle for beer to send us to the stars. So just in time to celebrate the new space age, Austin Beerworks launched their twenty-fourteen Sputnik Cuvee Coffee-infused oatmeal Russian Imperial Stout. It caused quite a roar, too. People weren’t hiding under desks. They stood in a line by the dozens, a boozy Black Friday. And in the end, they received the best deal they could wish for: beer.

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